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quotes.json
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quotes.json
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[
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "This wine is awful. Get me another glass.",
"season": 1,
"episode": "Wine and Roses"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "You know, being approachable isn’t that important anyway, The Queen hasn’t smiled since the ’70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended.",
"season": 2,
"episode": "Milk Money"
},
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it’s that a mother puts her own mask on first.",
"season": 3,
"episode": "The Affair"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.",
"season": 1,
"episode": "The Drip"
},
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "I have lost all my skills. And now I know how it feels to be utterly helpless like you and your sister.",
"season": 2,
"episode": "Family Dinner"
},
{
"character": "Alexis",
"quoteText": "(Babies) Just think of them as tiny little roommates whose tiny little poops you get to clean up.",
"season": 4,
"episode": "Pregnancy Test"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.",
"season": 3,
"episode": "The Throuple"
},
{
"character": "Patrick",
"quoteText": "...you have to stop watching Notting Hill. It’s not helpful for our relationship.",
"season": 5,
"episode": "The Hike"
},
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "If there is anyone at this fabulous little confab who knows how to work a room of fragile egos, it’s me. ",
"season": 3,
"episode": "The Affair"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I Googled that bug. It’s some sort of demonic cricket that takes chunks out of your skin when provoked. ‘Chunks’ is the word that Google used.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Turkey Shoot"
},
{
"character": "Jocelyn",
"quoteText": "You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Little Sister"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Turkey Shoot"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I haven’t BeDazzled anything since I was 22.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Opening Night"
},
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "I am suddenly overwhelmed with regret. It’s a new feeling for me, and I don’t find it at all pleasurable.",
"season": 2,
"episodeName": "Moira's Nudes"
},
{
"character": "Alexis",
"quoteText": "I don’t skate through life, David. I walk through life. In really nice shoes.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Driving Test"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "I have my own holiday tradition. It’s like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it’s one day with 12 bottles of wine.",
"season": 4,
"episodeName": "Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "He told me he doesn’t want my help, so I’m just going to play the supportive partner and watch him fail.",
"season": 5,
"episodeName": "Housewarming"
},
{
"character": "Alexis",
"quoteText": "I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think I’m funny and smart and charming.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "The Cabin"
},
{
"character": "Moira",
"quoteText": "Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Town For Sale"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "I’m only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Our Cup Runneth Over"
},
{
"character": "Johnny",
"quoteText": "A hashtag? Is that two words?",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Motel Review"
},
{
"character": "Johnny",
"quoteText": "Oh, I know I don’t have any money, but I need to look like I don’t have money.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "New Car"
},
{
"character": "Roland",
"quoteText": "If you’re looking for an ass to kiss, it’s mine.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "The Cup Runneth Over"
},
{
"character": "Johnny",
"quoteText": "Tweet us on Facebook!",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Motel Review"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "You’d think there’d be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people’s families.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Friends & Family"
},
{
"character": "Ted",
"quoteText": "If those bunnies feel exploited even a little bit, I am pulling the plug.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Rooms by the Hour"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "I’m incapable of faking sincerity.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Bad Review"
},
{
"character": "Patrick",
"quoteText": "Do I wear my fringed vest? Or, more importantly, do I wear anything under it?",
"season": 4,
"episodeName": "Open Mic"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "We’re drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "The Throuple"
},
{
"character": "Johnny",
"quoteText": "You’re not the only one with an online presence.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Bad Review"
},
{
"character": "Stevie",
"quoteText": "My car is worth less than your pants.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Bad Parents"
},
{
"character": "Alexis",
"quoteText": "I once passed off a mini horse and three guinea pigs as service animals so anything is possible.",
"season": 5,
"episodeName": "The Dress"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "Would we call that pretentious...or timeless?",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Bad Review"
},
{
"character": "David",
"quoteText": "I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.",
"season": 3,
"episodeName": "Sebastien Raine"
},
{
"character": "Jocelyn",
"quoteText": "I know those boys are undressing me every time I drop a piece of chalk.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "The Drip"
},
{
"character": "Jocelyn",
"quoteText": "I've been waiting for this moment. Apparently, if they call your number, you get to stand in front of a judge. I feel like I'm on 'The Voice'!",
"season": 4,
"episodeName": "The Rollout"
},
{
"character": "Jocelyn",
"quoteText": "I could be doing cartwheels in a thong in front of that television, which I have done, but if your show was on, I was as good as wall paper.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "The Drip"
},
{
"character": "Roland",
"quoteText": "I'd really like you to sing at my cousin's funeral. She's not dead, but she's been coughing a lot lately.",
"season": 1,
"episodeName": "Carl's Funeral"
},
{
"character": "Twyla",
"quoteText": "Well, congratulations. Let me get the champagne. You guys are gonna love it. It's the same one we use to celebrate my mom's divorces.",
"season": 2,
"episodeName": "Bob's Bagels"
},
{
"character": "Twyla",
"quoteText": "Is everything okay? People were saying that a girl was struggling with her bike. I kinda just assumed it was a toddler.",
"season": 2,
"episodeName": "Estate Sale"
}
]