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boou.html
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<html>
<head>
<link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Bahiana" rel="stylesheet">
<style>
body{
display:flex;
height:100vh;
font-family:Bahiana,sans-serif;
font-size:2vw;
justify-content:center;
align-items:center;
background:black;
margin:0;
}
p{
display:none;
width:60%;
color:white;
animation:woop 200ms alternate infinite;
}
b{
display:flex;
justify-content:center;
}
@keyframes woop{
to{
-webkit-transform:scale(1.05);
-moz-transform:scale(1.05);
-ms-transform:scale(2); /*FUCK YOU FOR USING IE*/
}
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<audio loop autoplay src="https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/mp3-preview2/Delightful D.mp3"></audio>
<p id="boo">
<b><u>True</u> facts about USERNAME</b>
<br>
USERNAME sucks. It's true. Nobody sucks more than USERNAME. I've had people, very important people, come up to me saying "Man, I think USERNAME is a mighty faggot and a literal Hitler incarnate".
<br><br>
Once, USERNAME tried to uncuck themselves. Total failure. Absolutely pathetic, trust me. USERNAME is a total cuck, and they will always be.
<br><br>
Lastly, boo u USERNAME. u sux
</p>
<script>
var name=window.location.href.split("=")[1] || "thirdegree";
var boo=document.getElementById("boo");
boo.innerHTML=boo.innerHTML.replace(/USERNAME/g,name);
boo.style.display="block";
String.prototype.tst=function(){
for (var i=0;i<arguments.length;i++){
var regex=new RegExp(arguments[i],"gi");
if (regex.test(this)) return true;
}
return false;
}
var repl=null;
if (name.tst("turtle","att")) repl="Except for his onion hate, there is nothing wrong with Awkward.";
else if (name.tst("picturelements")) repl="PE is the best. And he's got a magnum dong.";
else if (name.tst("pussgurka","pg")) repl="PG is bae.";
else if (name.tst("merari")) repl="Mera is many things. Bae is one of them.";
if (repl){
boo.innerHTML=repl;
boo.style.textAlign="center";
}
</script>
</body>
</html>