quotes.js

export const futuramaQuotes = [
  {
    quote: 'Bite my shiny metal ass.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: '...at least here you\'ll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: '...it\'s what seperates humans and robots from animals and animal robots.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Everybody\'s a jerk: you, me, this jerk.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Of all the friends I\'ve had, you\'re the first.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I hate the people that love me, and they hate me.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Me too. I\'m filled with a large number of powerful emotions.',
    who: 'Calculon'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You call that an antenna?',
    who: 'URL'
  },
  {
    quote: '...each pound of which weighs over 10,000 pounds.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'That\'ll take forever. What she ought to do is find a nice guy with two eyes and poke one out.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'A grim day for robot-kind. But we can always build more killbots.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Now, now, there will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m gonna drink \'til I reboot.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'What kind of party is this? There\'s no booze and only one hooker.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I haven\'t had time off since I was 21 through 24.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I assure you, I barely know the meaning of the word labor.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m a fraud. A poor, lazy, sexy fraud.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You remind me of a young me. Not much younger mind you; perhaps even a couple of years older.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If you so much as glance at another woman I\'ll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very sexy manure.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'We\'ll simply plot a new course for that empty region over there; near that black-ish, hole-ish thing.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'And I\'d do it again, and perhaps a third time. But that would be it.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Don\'t talk like that; tragic romances always have a happy ending.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Not everyone turns out like their parents. Look at me: my parents were honest, hard-working people.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I prefer programs of the genre World\'s Blankiest Blank.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You will practice making your bed until you can do it in your sleep.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If we can hit that bull\'s-eye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'When I\'m in command every mission is a suicide mission.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'The auxiliary power\'s out and they spilled my cocktail.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'We will raise your planet\'s temperature by one million degrees per day for five days unless...',
    who: 'Lurr'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You may feel a slight stinging sensation ...all of you.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone\'s going to jump out of it make sure to put them in *after* you cook it.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'This\'ll teach those filthy bastards who\'s lovable!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Yes, if by \'allow\' you mean \'force\'.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Why can\'t she just drink herself happy like a normal person?',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Bender: 1, Toilet: 0.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Wow, there\'s a million aliens! I\'ve never seen something so mind-blowing! Ooh, a reception table with muffins!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Come, Kif, it\'s time for us to start our life as civilians. That\'s an order, soldier!',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Here\'s to us schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'They\'re not very heavy, but you don\'t hear me not complaining.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Let fly the white flag of war.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If I was registered to vote I\'d send these clowns a message by staying home on Election Day and dressing like a clown.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'The underprivileged get all the breaks.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m finally richer than those snooty ATM machines.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Bodies are for hookers and fat people.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Comedy\'s a dead art form. Now tragedy, that\'s funny.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Ah, nothing like a warm fire and a SuperSoaker of fine cognac.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You must be using an archaic form of pronunciation, like saying \'ask\' instead of \'axe\'.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Yes, I got the most! I win X-Mas!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'X-Mas eve, another pointless day where I accomplished nothing. Ah...',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering!',
    who: 'Morbo'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies... and there would have to be a lot of them.',
    who: 'Linda the Reporter'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Alright, bird. You thought you could beat me in a game of wits but you just met your equal.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Finally, I look as pretty as I feel!',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Oh dear! They\'ll be killed on our doorstep... and there\'s no trash pickup until January 3rd.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have a have a big clambake and cook him! Yee-ha!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'He\'s no different from the rest of you organisms, shooting DNA at each other to make babies. I find it offensive.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'He\'s a loser; he\'s the lobster equivalent of Fry.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Actually, she wasn\'t really my girlfriend, she just lived nextdoor and never closed her curtains.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'No one drove in New York. There was too much traffic.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m just glad we hit something, I thought we\'d never stop!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If you kill anyone make sure to eat their heart; to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage. Yum yum.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I don\'t want you to worry about your jobs while you\'re away. That\'s why I\'m firing you now.',
    who: 'Hermes'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s funny because it\'s poisonous!',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'He\'s bad news. I regret ever running him over.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I may be against the fur industry, but that won\'t keep me from skinning you alive; as long as no one wears the skin.',
    who: 'Bob Barker'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I am shocked! Shocked! Well, not that shocked.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You, sir, have defaced a natural treasure! I insist you restore my buttocks to their former glory.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Computer dating: it\'s just like pimping except you rarely have to use the term \'upside your head\'.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Now, my usual fee is $500. But seeing as how it\'s you, I\'ll need it all in advance.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'She is well-traveled, and I don\'t mean she travels a lot.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If I ever feel lonely, I\'ll just look over at this disfiguring scar and think of you.',
    who: 'Amy'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling; but it turns out it\'s fixed, like boxing.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s one thing to win a fixed fight; there\'s dignity in that. But to lose?',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'After all this time, someone else who has one eye who isn\'t a clumsy carpenter or a kid with a bb gun.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Everyone\'s always in favor of saving Hitler\'s brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark: oooh, suddenly you\'ve gone too far!',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You know, they say you can judge a man by the company he keeps; so here\'s the professor\'s oldest friend: a grotesque, stinking lobster!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'After fourteen years of graduate school Farnsworth settled into the glamorous life of a scientist. Fast cars, trendy nightspots, beautiful women... the professor designed them all, working out of his tiny one-room apartment.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Everyone, I have a dramatic announcement. Anyone with a weak heart should leave. Goodbye.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m sure Bender has just made some cunning remark, but he doesn\'t know I taped over his soap operas to record this message.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m as spry as a 140 year old. See? I only broke one ankle.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: '...Martini-drinking contest with the auto-pilot. I would have won, except we ran out of olives.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Everything that is Bender is right here: his mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.',
    who: 'Morgan Proctor'
  },
  {
    quote: 'There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Poor Bender. Without his brain he\'s become all quiet and helpful.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'This is the best nanosecond of my life! No this one is! No this one!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I don\'t like the looks of this doctor. I bet I\'ve lost more patients than he\'s even treated.',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I want you to find him and plug him. Then, unplug him.',
    who: 'Don-Bot'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Your dear old Mother won\'t be around forever and just once before I die I\'d like to be Supreme Overlord of Earth.',
    who: 'Mom'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Hey hey! Ho ho! One zero zero one one zero!',
    who: 'Robot Mob'
  },
  {
    quote: 'In my time we didn\'t depend on high-tech gadgets like you do. We didn\'t need a mechanical washing unit to wash our clothes, we just used a washing machine!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: '...we could use my new invention: a pointy rock on a stick!',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: '...and if that doesn\'t work I got you a six-pack of champagne and a funnel.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Problem solved. You two fight to the death and I\'ll cook the loser.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'They\'re like sex, except I\'m having it.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Great is OK, but amazing would be GREAT!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Yes! I\'m going to be rich! You are too, but it\'s hard to get excited about that.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'We will begin with the firemen and the math teachers and so on in that fashion until everyone is eaten.',
    who: 'Lurr'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I wish they\'d just wipe out humanity and get it over with. It\'s the waiting I can\'t stand.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Put \'er there, pal! ...I meant your wallet.',
    who: 'Giant Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I came here with the simple dream... a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who\'s the real 700 billion ton monster here? Not I... Not I...',
    who: 'Giant Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I can be impulsive... it just takes me a while.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Blackmail\'s such an ugly word. I prefer extortion; the "x" makes it sound cool.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'That question was less stupid, though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If it\'s a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Men, you are lucky men. Soon you\'ll all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Whoa, check out that guy! He makes Speedy Gonzalez look like Regular Gonzalez!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'He edged out my old mark by 2 seconds. And 16 minutes. And 12 hours.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'That young man fills me with hope ...and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If they put me on a stamp... tell them to use the young Bender.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Scalpel... blood bucket... priest. Next patient!',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I hereby order that in Bender\'s honor he be melted down and made into a statue of himself.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You\'ll be negotiating with the mysterious brain-balls. They\'ve got a lot of brains and a lot of... chutzpah.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'At last, war has made me into a man. Weeeeee!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Hmm, words I never say... Oh, I know: "Thanks"!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Bender, you look awful. I recommend makeup.',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Robot porno theatre! I was in that... general... vicinity.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I can\'t afford to keep running people over. I\'m not famous enough to get away with it.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You\'re a thousand years old?! Your bio says you\'re 27!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I was all of history\'s greatest acting robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, David Duchovny!',
    who: 'Calculon'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You didn\'t hurt me, but you wanted to. That\'s the important thing.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'That probulator really knows how to please a man.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'And with Fry gone, I\'m free to leave my jigsaw puzzle pieces out without him eating them.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Alright, alright. If it\'ll make you happy I\'ll overthrow society.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'No fair! You changed the results by measuring it!',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Life is hilariously cruel.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'What\'s wrong? Did you swallow another cell phone?',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Here\'s my personal book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as fast as you can. Don\'t stop for any reason.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s not uncharted, you lost the chart!',
    who: 'Kif'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Oh God, you\'re killing me. OH GOD YOU\'RE KILLING ME!',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Of all the parasites I\'ve had over the years, these worms are among the best.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I always knew I\'d die at the bottom of a pit, but a pit full of tar?',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s toe-tappingly tragic!',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Bender\'s my friend; we can\'t just dump him in the sewer like Grandma\'s ashes.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Kudos, Bender! You got mangled and became a singer. Both our dreams came true.',
    who: 'Hermes'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Oh crap! It\'s a miracle!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Those aren\'t swan-boats, they\'re swans.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Just a few... more... hundred... thousand... miles. There.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I guess I could part with one doomsday device and still be feared.',
    who: 'Professor Farnsworth'
  },
  {
    quote: 'It\'s funny, you live in the universe but you never do these things until someone comes to visit.',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Now you know why I used the qualifier \'practically\'.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Now that\'s a wave of destruction that\'s easy on the eyes.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You know the worst part about being a slave? They make you work but they don\'t pay you or let you go.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Now we\'re slaving!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'The cruelty of the old pharoah is a thing of the past! Let a whole new wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land!',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'People said I was dumb, but I proved them!',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You say that those brains are making everyone on Earth stupid. Oh... stupider.',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass?',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I think cosmetic surgery is great! I used to be too cute, but then I had cuteness reduction surgery *here* and *here*.',
    who: 'Amy'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Don\'t be such a a chicken, Kif! Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball.',
    who: 'Zapp Brannigan'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I\'m not a robot! I don\'t like having discs crammed into me; unless they\'re Oreos. And then, only in the mouth.',
    who: 'Fry'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Is this angry yelling or busted hearing aid yelling?',
    who: 'Dr. Zoidberg'
  },
  {
    quote: 'If you want children beaten, you\'ve got to do it yourself.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'That\'s so plausible I can\'t believe it!',
    who: 'Leela'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Robots don\'t have any emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'You bastard! They treated me like an animal and that\'s what I became! ...Nah I\'m just kidding, good to see ya buddy!',
    who: 'Flexo'
  },
  {
    quote: 'I personalized each of your meals. For example, Amy: you\'re cute, so I baked you a pony.',
    who: 'Bender'
  },
  {
    quote: 'Oh my god. I\'m so excited I wish I could wet my pants!',
    who: 'Bender'
  }
];