Update faq.md

faq.md

@@ -12,10 +12,12 @@ I am trying to reduce meetings, so if we don't already have a scheduled meeting,
 
 ### Reccomendation letters and references
 
-I am eager to support the careers of my research students, interns and colleagues with letters or references. In general, 2 weeks before the application deadline, [email me](mailto:mark@whiting.me?subject=Reference request) the details of the application, my letter deadline, your application essays, your CV and an informal paragraph about our work together — use this to let me know if there's anything you'd like me to highlight. It's fine to ask me what I will say about you. 
+I am eager to support the careers of my research students, interns and colleagues with letters or references. In general, 2 weeks before the application deadline, [email me](mailto:mark@whiting.me?subject=Reference request) the details of the application, my letter deadline, your application essays, your CV and an informal paragraph about our work together — use this to let me know if there's anything you'd like me to highlight. 
 
 If the deadline is closer than 2 weeks, ask if I'm able to do it — I'll let you know if I have the flexibility to write a letter in that time.
 
 I'll email you when I submit the letter, but if you don't hear from me by the day before the deadline, feel free to send lots of angry messages.
 
+It's fine to ask me what I will say about you. If there is any chance my letter could be seen as negative or surprising, I will let you know before I write it, so that you can decide if you would rather I don't submit on your behalf.
+
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