CareerGuest PostsRelationships
by Esther Adeniyion December 24, 2018December 24, 20181 Comment on Dear Single Lady, Start Now!
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I have been all about this for a while now and this is why what you are about to read means a whole lot to me myself. I have read it over and over and over. I stumbled on it on Instagram, I had to dm Omobyy for permission to share it on my blog.
It is that good. I could have just shared it on my social media handles but this is too good to limit it that way. I liked that she urges us to be more, do more and be all that we can be while we wait for Him.
About this time last year, Omobyy had written a stellar post on how much she saved in her Piggy bank and how to start it. I loved it so much that I went on to ask her for permission to share.
Here we are again, another great post! Below is what she shared with us on Facebook. Read:
“Many young people especially women are waiting to be married before they make major life-changing decisions of their lives.
Many young women are waiting to be married before they start that degree or course they want to.
Some are waiting to be married before they take that concrete step to relocate or start a business or write that book or launch that startup.
Somehow, they think being married would immediately launch them into their dreams.
Do you know that in most cases, you achieve more as a single person than being married, because the person whom you’re waiting for has the huge possibility to put your own plans on hold.
I’d explain.
Marriage is a good thing, but it also comes with loads of responsibilities. These responsibilities demand your time, resources and money.
Pregnancy is one phase in Marriage that adds responsibilities and delays your personal plans.
Childbearing is another.
This is why you may have heard many married women say, I wanted to go for that degree, I wanted to start that business, I wanted to go for that course, but I got pregnant, started raising kids and had to put everything on hold.
No, I’m not saying you can’t achieve your plan nor reach your peak being married, but you do it faster being single. This is because your focus is not divided and you’re running unilaterally with your goal solely in mind.
No, your partner doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad guy nor does it mean he is a dream killer, however, remember, you’re bringing into existence another human who also has his own plans in his head. This fusion comes with sacrifices and changes that delay what you should have achieved if alone.
Dear single lady,
If you’re sure about what you wanna do, please don’t wait to be married before you start. Start immediately. Start now.
I have to mention this, not in any way to boast at all. Many of my friends who desired to go for their second degree and didn’t start while single, are yet to still do so being married. Those who did struggled amidst very uncomfortable circumstances.
This is because marriage responsibilities delay personal plans. It’s a reality many know too late. Beyond the euphoria and glamour, your wedding day brings, comes the reality that marriage brings sacrifices, many of which are painful and uncomfortable.
This is why I implore you to achieve all you desire to do being single. At least try. Do your bit. Do your best.
Don’t just wait for Mr right to come to sweep you off your feet while you just do nothing. Start working on your own goals and purpose.
I was speaking to a friend who desires to relocate to Canada but is waiting to be married before she starts the process. I had to tell her that if this is what she wants to do, she should start immediately. Asides that applying as a single applicant is cheaper and quite straightforward, you just never know the kind of man you’ll get married to.
He doesn’t have to be a bad guy to put your own plans on hold. He may just not be ready to move at the time you want to. Perhaps, he may have businesses in Nigeria and doesn’t see the move at all, or he may be that guy who’s a snail in making decisions, doesn’t take risks, thereby truncating your plans; you, therefore, become a gunner.
Two of my close friends who wish to relocate have partners that are delaying them. No, they’re not bad men but they don’t just key into the opportunity.
One of them, her hubby likes the idea but he wouldn’t lift a finger. Unfortunately, he’s the one with the higher qualification, therefore has to be the one at the forefront.
The other isn’t even interested at all. The thought of relocation irks him. In his mind, those who leave, go on to do odd jobs and barely survive.
This is why I told my other single friend, and I’m telling you too, please do what you have to do before you get married. Let that love meet you ahead.
Truth is, if these friends were single, they would be better for it. But their men wouldn’t allow them to be great.
If a man wouldn’t put his plans on hold until he gets a wife, I don’t see why you should put your own plans on hold until you get a husband.
2019 is almost here and I know many are waiting to be married before they become intentional about their plans. Please don’t. You may get married and realize this too late. I hope this post would help you have a rethink. ”
~ Omoby, 2018
Written by: Omobolanle Adeyemo
Related: Why are Africans Obsessed with marriage?
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