by Esther Adeniyion September 2, 2018September 2, 20181 Comment on There’s an Independent Man for Every Independent Woman
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“Even with all of her ‘independent woman’, see, she still got married”.
I have shuddered at some of the statements seemingly smart folks utter and it breaks my heart to know that all of the education they had did very little to influence their thought processes.
An independent woman isn’t the tough, rude, street woman you are used to. You got it all wrong if you haven’t been able to see what independence really stands for. Independence is taking responsibility for oneself. An independent woman is in essence getting her act together. That process can be intimidating to a lot of people, men and women alike.
All of what you see as firm and strong is her getting her career, her finances, her poise together. It’s a different thing if that’s too strong for you to relate to, you know.
Men and women now have approximately equal chances educationally. A boy and a girl, both graduates of Statistics, for example, have equal shots at making a meaning out of their lives financially. If a woman (because she is a ‘woman’) has to sit back, cut back on the potentials she has to become the next big thing and rely on what you are able to make out of your own life, you might want to question the essence of her education. If a man and a woman have equal chances, it is expected that they both make it count.
I understand that there are women who are very unapproachable. I also understand that there are women who have toughened up so hard that they aren’t vulnerable in their femininity. That’s a different story, that’s an entirely different concept. You have to get to the root of their actions, possibly, a marred childhood has forced them to build fences. This is not independence.
Listen, for the independent woman who has had to fend for a lot, she might have it tough to accept support in the beginning, to relax and let things work without her input. These ones are brilliant and smart enough to learn, they will come around. This is where their men proudly step in. It is such an honour to see a woman make something out of lemons. That may thicken her but loving, confident men aren’t afraid. They are honoured and pleased to be with these women.
Independence, like I said, is being responsible! So, that I am a responsible woman, individual, person, is not a subtle message at rejecting love.
Because a woman isn’t coming to ask you for money for her hair, money for a dress, a lift, help in whatever form doesn’t mean that she is forming hard or difficult. There are women who have had to learn how to feed themselves and cater for a few others. Would you prefer they fold arms at the sight of responsibilities and come begging you for every single thing.
Independent women come with grace and elegance. They are complete as individuals. These women are whole, working towards wholeness. They are soft on the inside. The only reason they aren’t sloppy, crying all over the place like you expect is that they have learned to watch after themselves. It would wear you out to nurse grown up women, wouldn’t it?
Perhaps you are worried that no man can take in all of that strength. No independent woman will reduce her potentials or settle for less to accommodate your incredibly low level of understanding. Are you aware that some certain men in different parts of the world have taken up roles that only confident, independent women can help them with? That your own definition of women might break at the sight of?
For every independent woman, there is an independent man. Their union is complimenting. No one is looking to complete the other. They are coming together with complete packages ready to merge into a force.
Perhaps you cannot handle one, you need a needy liability. There’s going to be one for you too. And this, will be the end of the matter. You wouldn’t have to deal with an independent woman the rest of your life. Win-win.
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