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Cheezy pickup lines and jokes

Why was the gay-man fired from the sperm bank?

Because he was caught drinking during the job



Your name is so pretty but Your face doesn't match your name tho



Difference between love and herpees

Herpees is forever



What do u call an alligator in vest

an Investigator



My dick was in the guinness book of world record........

Until the librarian made me take it out



Santa's lap isn't the only lap that you can sit on to get big present



I would never play hide n seek with you because you someone like you is impossible to find



What goes down but doesn't get back up

A fat person doing squats



Do you have an ugly boyfriend??

Do you want one!



True friends never say goodbye So........

Goodbye



Knock knock

who's there?

Ssssssssssss

Ssssssssssss who??

Sssssiiiiuuuuueeee



A key needs a keyhole

A bottle needs a cap

A shoe needs a foot

A lamp needs a bulb

And I need You



I saw a microbiologist today

He was much bigger than I expected



I broke my finger last week

But on the other hand I'm okay



Do your leg hurt from running through my mind all day



Pop pop popsicle

Ice Ice icicle

Bye bye bycycle

Test test testing 123



Rhinos are just out of shape unicorns



One day my friend came out shouting 'its a boy it's a boy'

Since then me and my friends never went back to Thailand



I'm gonna sue Spotify for sure

Because you are not on their top single playlist



When you planned to runaway with an older woman

But you forgot that she doesn't come anymore



Don't bully me

I'll cum



What happens when water trips over??

Waterfalls



I am not going to use Google anymore

Because when I saw you I knew the search was over



One benifit of breast milk

It has nice packaging



What's red and bad for your teeth

A brick



My girlfriend called me a pedophile

That's a big word for a 7 years old



Roses are red

Violets are blue

FBI is looking for my penis

Can I hide it inside you?



Are you a nine?

Cuz I am the one you need



Do you hear what I hear Do you.....

It sounds like I love you



I have fallen for you just like the rain



Do you have a sunburn or

are you always this hot?



Do you have a driving licence??

That's why you drive me so crazy



Are you a ciggerate??

Cuz I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth



Are you Paris??

Cuz Eifiel for you



What has fifty legs and can't walk?

25 disabled people



Are you a camera??

Because every time I look at you I smile



I was feeling a little off today

but you have turned me on again



Do you have a band aid

Because I scrapped my knee falling for you



Can I follow you home because my parents told me to always follow my dreams



Are you a computer keyboard

Because you are just my type



Is it hot in here Or

is it just you



Did it hurt when you fell from heaven



What do you call a person with no legs??

Call him anything he won't come



What did green grape said to purple grape??

Breathe you idiot



I like my eggs scrambled

But I like to fertilize yours



How do you know Allah is the true God??

Because universe started with an explosion that's how



I like mayonese in my sandwich

But l'd like you naked in my bed



What do receptionist at a sperm bank say??

Thank you come again



On the train we swapped seats

You wanted the window seat And I wanted to look at you



Is your father terrorist

Because he made a bomb



I can't believe they're still together after going through all that shit

who??

My ass cheeks



Three things I have never seen in my life

1. Dinasours

2. Aliens

3. A girl more beautiful than you.



If a spider bites me i become spider man

Can you bite me so that I can become your man



I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory

They told me i wasn't putting up enough shifts



Girl you so hot my zipper is falling for you



Every zodiac sign has their favourite hairstyle

Except for cancer



Apart from taking my breath away

What do you do for living??



Do u have a mirror in your pants

Because I can see myself in them



If you were a fruit

You'd be a fine apple



What do you call two black men sleeping in a red sleeping bag

Kit kat



Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Because black people can't swim.



What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy??

Gang rape



Why are American basketball players so tall

Because they are knee grows



What is 6.9

A good thing ruined by period



What do black people and bicycles have in common??

Both don't work without chains



Humans are like jokes

Not everyone likes dark ones



Why do black people have white nails?

Because everyone has a little good in them